


100 Moments

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-05
Updated: 2007-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-19 20:14:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: A collection of OS's Inspired by 100 topics. All L/J pairing. Rated R for self harm.





	1. Glasses

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  


1\. Who are you?

Something was wrong with James Potter. Every one had noticed but most had put it aside as they realized that the change made him look better and act with even more confidence. One person was extremely bothered though. She didn’t mind the confidence boost, she was used to that. It was the fact that he had changed his looks and she didn’t like the change.

‘Hello, Evans.’ James Potter slid into the seat beside Lily where she sat in the Library, doing her Transfiguration homework. Lily Pointedly ignored him. ‘Evans?’ James waited for a response from her but one never came so he waved his hand in front of her face. Lily blinked but made no other sign that she had heard him at all. ‘Evans…?’ James pondered how he could get her attention when an idea suddenly came to mind. James lifted a hand and placed it on his right shoulder. ‘I can count shoulders. One. Two. Three.’ His hand moved from his shoulder to the opposite one and then onto Lily’s left shoulder ‘Four.’ He tentatively moved his hand onto her right shoulder. When she didn’t slap it away he grinned widely. ‘So Evans I-‘ he paused as she flipped a page.

‘Okay, Lily, what gives?’ his voice was no longer flirtatious, but annoyed and wary ‘Why are you ignoring me, let alone letting me tough you?’ She didn’t respond, just blinked again. ‘Lily!’ he whisper shouted into her ear and smiled as she shivered slightly; at last he had her attention. She looked at him blankly.

‘Who are you?’ James’ jaw dropped, had Lily lost her memory.

‘Lily? Lily, are you okay? It’s me… You know, your personal stalker, Maraudering pal of Sirius Black?’ She continued to look blankly and he ran his hand frustratedly through his messy black locks. ‘Lily, It’s James Potter! Please tell me you haven’t lost your memory!?’ Lily’s eyes widened.

‘I haven’t lost my memory, I just didn’t recognize you, James. Did you want something?’ James was amazed as he shook his head “No”. Lily started to pack her books away. ‘Okay then. See you at the heads meeting later.’ She said to him cheerfully. Just as Lily was about to pass the row of shelving that would block his view of her, she turned ‘You look better with the glasses, James.’ James’ jaw dropped as she left him there alone.

Later that night in McGonagall’s’ office, Lily was pleased to see that he had regained the familiar wire framed spectacles, no matter how upset the rest of the female population of Hogwarts was.


	2. Rain

  


2\. Secrets of the Rain

It was raining. Lily hated the rain. It washed away everything, leaving nothing the same. Taking away all the loose threads and leaving an empty surface. She stared out of the window in the Common room, glaring heavily at the falling drops of water.

‘Lily?’ A hesitant voice called from behind her.

‘It’s Evans to you, Potter.’ She snarled, knowing who was behind her without even having to turn about. ‘Can’t you just leave me alone for once?’ she sighed. James frowned at her back; he thought that they had come so far with their friendship this year, what had happened to change it?

Instead of leaving as she had asked, James walked slowly towards the window seat where the object of his affections was sitting stiffly as she grumbled under her breath about “Stupid sodding water”. He gently slid onto the other side of the cushioned area and sat so that he had a good view of both Lily and the weather outside. She pursed her lips as she saw him out of the corner of her eyes, but continued to glare at her nemesis that she thought to be twice as bad as James Potter. That would mean a lot to most students in Hogwarts.

‘Why do you hate it?’ James broke the silence after sitting in the same spot for almost an hour, the rain still falling in continuous and monotonous patterns.

‘What?’ Lily was startled, she had forgotten he was even there; he had been so quiet for once. She had also realized he had said “It” not “Me”.

‘Why do you hate the rain so much?’

‘Why do you want to know?’ she snapped back ‘What would you even know about it?’ James held out his hands, palms facing her, in some kind of defeat.

‘No need to get all snappy, Lily-‘

‘Evans.’

‘Lily.’ He put great finality on her name and she sighed, giving in. James sensed this and Smiled at her before dropping it quickly and continuing to press her. ‘Why do you hate it?’

‘My… My… Parents…’ she sniffed, tears threatening to fall.

‘Oh, Lily… I didn’t know…’ he leaned forward hesitantly and embraced her. When he felt her relax into him, her hugged her tighter before releasing her and standing up.

Lily looked at him quizzically as he held out a hand for her.

‘What are you doing?’ James shook his head, messy black strands falling into his hazel eyes, and smiled at her mysteriously. It was Lily’s turn to hesitate now, before taking the chance and placing her hand in his. James led her out of the portrait hole and down halls, corridors and stairs and even through a few secret passage ways before she realized where they were.

‘Potter?’ James stopped his fast-paced tirade and turned on Lily with a questioning eyebrow raised. ‘Why are we in the Entrance Hall?’ James just smiled at her.

‘We are now…’ he then continued to drag her to the door.

‘Uh-uh. There is no way you’re getting me out of these doors.’ She shook her head and dug the heels of her school shoes into the stone floor. James grinned evilly at her before swinging her over his shoulder in one swift motion. Lily pounded him as hard as her small fists could manage on his muscled back. ‘Put me down! Now! I’ll hurt you, Potter!’ James chuckled and ignored the pattering of fists. He stepped out of the door and swiftly down the steps, into the dreary rain.

Lily recognized her defeat and decided to hang limply against his back, letting James take her to wherever it was that he was heading. He stopped after about five minutes of walking at an average pace and set a soaked through Lily down beside him. Lily took in her surroundings and realized that he had brought them to the edge of the lake. They were standing on a small grassy cliff that over-looked the rough and weathered water. Lily saw movement from the corner of her eyes and felt something heavy and warm around her shoulders. James had removed his cloak and placed it onto her slightly shivering body.

‘Dance with me.’ She said to him, in a voice so quiet that he wasn’t sure that she had said anything at all until she turned to look at him with sad eyes.

James offered his hand and she took it with a firm grass.

‘There’s no music.’ He whispered.

‘So’ she whispered back. He smiled and pulled her in closer. Lily rested her head on his chest as they swayed gently in the rain to some unheard music. It was a long while before either of them spoke again. ‘My… My Dad and I used to do this.’ James stayed silent, knowing that she needed to get it out. ‘I was afraid of the rain when I was little.’ She laughed a hollow laugh. ‘He used to take me out to show me that there was nothing wrong.’ She paused again and yet, James still said nothing. ‘They were driving home from a party at his work. It was raining. They were at an intersection and another driver lost control… They crashed into a street lamp pole. Dead on impact.’ Tears were flowing down her pale and already damp cheeks. ‘I was nine… I … I… I miss them soo much… That… Th…that’s why I hate rain… It hurts people.’ She looked up at James for the first time and he looked back at her serenely.

‘Rain isn’t bad Lily… Accidents happen. People have to leave... Rain helps us to start anew… It washes away our mistakes and leaves us with a clean slate to redo what we did wrong. It creates life just as it may destroy it. We should embrace it, because all things happen for a reason.’ Lily gave him a strange look, her tears clearing away as they continued to sway.

‘Since when did you become the human fortune cookie?’ James laughed and the sound reverberated through the hollows of her small body.

‘I’ve always been like this. I just don’t show it because I said something to Sirius in first year and it really freaked him out. I supposed it was for the best. I only use my mystical powers of great speech when I can see that they’re needed.’ He ended in a misty voice, reminiscent of the seventh year Ravenclaw Sybil Trelawney while she “prophesied”. Lily laughed along with him, glad for the lightening of the mood, glad that he hadn’t pressed her for more, glad that he hadn’t fussed over her or worried about her.

Glad that he had taken her into the rain and danced with her. When they had finally stopped laughing, Lily laid her head back onto James’ chest and closed her eyes as they continued to dance their slow and calming dance as the rain continued to fall on them in pattering drops.


	3. Wedding

  


3\. Wedding Songs

They danced slowly around the floor as the soft music played, barely reaching their ears as they floated away to their own little world. Lily’s long white dress trailing slightly and the ground and whipping up every now and then as her new husband dipped her or twirled her around in his arms. As they danced though, James continued to murmur the words into her ear, softly enough that only she could hear.

 

_We'll do it all  
Everything  
On our own ___

We don't need   
Anything  
Or anyone 

If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world 

I don't quite know  
How to say  
How I feel 

Those three words,  
Are said too much  
They're not enough  
If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? 

Forget what we're told  
Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life 

Let's waste time  
Chasing cars  
Around our heads 

I need your grace  
To remind me  
To find my own 

If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? 

Forget what we're told  
Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life 

All that I am  
All that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes  
They're all I can see 

I don't know where  
Confused about how as well  
Just know that these things  
Will never change for us at all 

If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

As the music came to a fade, the applause started and the two stood still as they stared deeply into each others eyes.

‘No turning back now.’ James whispered. Lily shook her head.

‘I don’t ever want to turn back… Never… Ever… With you for always…’ James smiled at her the smile that was only for Lily, It was the Lily smile and it belonged only to her and only ever her.

‘Love you James…’ She whispered to him, almost inaudibly.

‘Love you too, Lily-Love.’ He leaned down and claimed her lips with his own, thus ending their first dance in their new life together.


	4. Photograph

  


4\. How he changed

James sat alone in his dorm room. The others had gone out for a night of fun in the castle, but he had opted to stay behind. Sirius had been shocked at first, but had then relented when he had seen the look on his best friends face. He realized that James just wanted some alone time. James’ bed rested under one of the few large windows in the dorm, as eleven year olds they had rearranged the room to suit themselves. James had opted for the window, so that he could look outside on the nights he couldn’t sleep. Which, unknown to his friends, happened quite often. Tonight though James wasn’t looking at the night sky that had appeared while he had been sitting there, He was instead looking at a faded and crinkle-edged photograph. On his face rested a content smile. In the picture stood a young girl and boy of about thirteen, both in Hogwarts uniforms and both wearing matching metal-filled smiles. James took in the image of his younger self and smiled. In the year that had followed he had changed, and it hadn’t been for the good; he had become Quidditch obsessed and an arrogant prat of a boy. But what was worst of all, he had left behind his best friend; shunning her away while he made new friends and forgot about their long friendship.

He had never forgotten though. He had always remembered her, even if nobody thought so. She was the geek of the year, yet James couldn’t see anything about her that wasn’t perfect. He had gotten tired of being the best friend and wanted more. He wanted her, but nobody knew. He changed everything about himself so that he stood out, in hopes that she would notice him in a new light, like he had noticed her. Instead, she had shaken her head at him in disgust and walked away. After that, the lure of popularity had become too much and so he had just gone with it; losing himself to a tirade of rumors and lies that gave him an image that every guy wanted and every girl wanted to be with. Except her. At the end of his sixth year, James had realized his mistakes and decided that he was no longer going to be what everyone expected, sod them! He had returned back to his former self, and best of all; she had noticed him in the light that he had always wanted.

James looked at the young girl in the picture and smiled softly as he traced her face with a rough finger. She was as perfect now as she had been then. The door to the dorm opened and James didn’t move. He didn’t need to, to know who was there. He could smell her scent as a wisp of fragrance washed across the room to him. Her footsteps on the rugged floor as she walked to his bed. He felt the mattress sink slightly as she climbed onto the bed and kneeled behind his back; head resting on his shoulder joint.

‘You still have it?’ Lily asked in amazement.

‘I never let it go.’ He explained as she wrapped her arms around his chest.

‘Good.’ She whispered as they continued to stare at what she had thought to be a long lost memory.


	5. Kiss

  


5\. Kiss

Lily waited by the doors for him as he swept down the stair at a nervous gate. She smiled hesitantly at him and he returned it in a more confident manner; even gaining enough courage to go as far as offering her his arm, which she had accepted with guilty pleasure. They had seen the sights, laughed at his expense and done everything that she had wanted to do; never mind him. It was perfect. And then it was over. They walked back to the castle in a blur of misery at the thought of this precious new thing being over so soon. Neither of the realizing that her gloved arm still rested entwined within the crook of his own. The portrait hole was just meters away when they stopped. James turned to Lily silently.

‘I had fun… James.’ she whispered, hoping that something would happen to keep this day alive for a little bit longer.

‘Me too, Lily…’ He whispered back. Lily suddenly became very aware of how close they were standing and became suddenly embarrassed by the proximity.

‘Well..-uh…’ she struggled to get the words out ‘I-I-I I should probably go inside… now…?’ she trailed off, and wondered what she was going to do. She didn’t want to leave. She was expecting something. She just didn’t know what she was expecting. Lily realized that she was still standing there and James was giving her a strange look. Just as he was about to say something to her, Lily turned abruptly away and started for the common room, leaving the confused and slightly hurt James just standing there.

She whispered the password to the frilly pink lady and passed through the open portrait just as she heard the sound of running feet. James grasped her elbow just as they had both fully entered the full common room. Everyone looked up at them as the door slammed shut and the room was thrown into an expectant silence.

Nobody knew what had happened on the Head boy and girls’ date, so they were all waiting to hear about a fight or such to get the rumor mill up and running like lightning fire. Lily stared wide-eyed at James. her green orbs then moved slowly from his eyes and down to where his hand was grasping her and then back up again. James realized that he was still holding her and let go. Lily suddenly had a pang in her stomach for the loss of touch between the two of them.

‘I…’ James had run out of words to give her for the first time that day. He turned to leave the room again, when a hand gripping his shirt pulled him around to Lily once more. Lily stared at him for a second and then leaned in slowly, pressing her soft lips against his rough and chapped ones. They pulled apart moments later and both blushed when they heard and saw the gaping, gasping onlookers all around them. But none of them mattered; It had been a monumental thing for both of them. Their first kisses, both alone and with each other, and It certainly wasn’t going to be their last.


	6. Fire

  


Fire

James sat in the common room alone. It was new years eve and everybody else was at the party that Hogwarts was throwing in the great hall. He didn’t feel like attending, because it all just seemed like a stupid escape route from the war that surrounded them, even now the pressures of death and destruction were falling in on students who lived and worked with and around him. Other might be grateful for the happy release, but James didn’t like it. He wanted to stay focused on achieving his best so that he might help to rid us all of the dark threat to the world; Magical and Muggle alike.

The room was extremely dark. James had watched as the fire had gone out almost two hours ago, but had not been bothered to relight it. He sat still, staring at the cold and empty grate, letting the darkness surround him like a shrouded cloak. It was not until ten thirty that he heard the first noises. At first he had believed it to be the first and second years returning early from the party, but was proven wrong when he realized that the noises were coming from the opposite direction; The girls dormitory stairs. There was a muffled thump and a small string of light swearwords as whoever it was apparently ran into the wall of the staircase.

‘Why the hell is it so bloody dark?’ James heard the voices’ muttering as it carried through the dark expanse between them. ‘Lumos.’ came a cry and the bottom three stairs were lit with wand light. James wasn’t looking at it but could realize that whoever it was that had interrupted him was getting closer due to the fact that the shadows on the wall were becoming more and more defined. ‘Incendio!’ James had to blink as the light now returned to the room. He saw that the person who had lit the fire was standing directly in front of his chair. Immediately he knew who it was as the fire caused her long hair to shimmer in beautiful red hues as she moved. As she moved. James was startled to realize that she was slowly backing up to sit in the chair, the one that he happened to be sitting on.

Instead of warning Lily that he was sitting where she was about to, he closed his eyes and waited. He felt a weight on his knees and then it settled back into his chest before Lily realized that she was sitting on someone. She jumped in shock and whipped around from where she now stood she had been sitting on what seemed to be an asleep James Potter. Or a formerly asleep James Potter as he opened his eyes wearily and reguarded her strangely.

‘Do you find it fun to sit on sleeping people, Evans?’ He cocked his head to the side and Lily couldn’t help but let the thoughts run through her head; there was no denying that James look very cute when he was half asleep and his shaggy hair fell into his hazel eyes.

‘Uh… I ummmm… No. I Just didn’t realize that you were there. I thought the room was empty. I just wanted to sit down.’ Lily was thoroughly embarrassed. One, for sitting on him and waking him up and two, for letting herself think those thoughts about him. Which she was still doing.

‘Turn around.’ James stated and shocked her out of her thoughts.

‘Wh-what?’ Lily was extremely confused.

‘Turn around.’ Lily anxiously turned around to face the fire and was taken off guard when she felt two arms wrap around her waist and pull her downwards onto James’ lap.

‘James! What are you doing?’ She struggled to get him to release her, but James just tightened his grip around her. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the scent of peaches. The tickling breath on her neck caused Lily to shiver slightly with pleasure.

‘Sleep, Lily, Sleep…’ James muttered and Lily felt her eyelids start to droop as she let herself relax and lean back into his strong chest.

The two of them sat like that for a while, Lily had fallen asleep and James was studying her face as she did so. In the distance he heard the countdown to the new year begin, and James couldn’t think of a better way to be spending it. With Lily.

_Ten._

_Nine._

_Eight._

_Seven._

_Six._

_Five._

_Four._

_Three._

_Two._

_One._

_Happy New Years!_

James leaned down and kissed Lily lightly on the cheek.

‘Happy New Years, Lily…’ he murmured as he himself settled back in the comfortable armchair and fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	7. Guitar

  


7\. Guitar

A/N: Look, to all you music fans out there, I know that Thunderstruck and Summer of ’69 were released in 1990 and 1984 respectively, but I wanted to use them, so just pretend. shhhh... Flying-V's rule!!

Thunderstuck belongs to AC/DC and Summer of ’69 belongs to Bryan Adams… not me… I wish… Harry Potter and Such is J.K.’s okay?

Unknown to the majority of Hogwarts, James could actually play the guitar. Most people thought that his love for music was just a school-boy obsession, that the guitars in the seventh year Gryffindor dorm room were just mementos and old dreams of becoming a star. But they were all wrong when they thought that. James had been playing since he was seven and his mother had dragged him to a Muggle music store so that she could purchase some piano music sheets for herself to play. At the time, there had been a guitar lesson on and James had watched as a man dressed in black pants and a shirt with “The Beatles” written across it taught three boys and a girl of his age how to play the cords and move their fingers right across the frets and strings.

He looked over to his mother and saw that she was in what looked to be a long and “Interesting” conversation with the store owners’ wife and decided to drift over to watch them play on their acoustics. The man looked up at James when he saw him approach and motioned his head at the boy to come and join them. James sat as the man placed his own guitar into his small hands and then carried on with the lesson. Since that fateful day at the music shop, James had been returning there three times a week for lessons with Louis and, when he started school at Hogwarts, he came almost every day to the shop in the holidays; either to play or just to help Mary keep the store while his teacher instructed younger students.

James had a collection of guitars that lined the wall of his bedroom and the music room at his house. Being the son of famous ex-Aurors and son to the heir of the Potter family’s fortune, meant that his parents could spare the money to help him purchase the guitars that he wanted. James’ pride and joy was his original 1958, first release, Gibson Flying-V, which he had brought second hand from a garage sale in his third year and repaired painstakingly while customizing it so that the look suited him. Not many students at Hogwarts understood the significance of this guitar to James. He kept it with him at all times, keeping it in his dorm when at school and beside his bed when at home, in a specially made glass case that was enhanced with protection spells and anti-intruder charms. Sirius had once tried to touch it without James knowing and had ended up in the Hospital Wing with concussion for a week.

As well as his Flying-V, James also kept one of his Accoustic guitars in his room so that he could play and practice without having to use the amp and create to much attention to what he was doing. Today James was sitting on the edge of his bed, Guitar in hand, and was talking with the other Marauders. Sirius was laughing about some prank that him and Peter had done on their DADA teacher earlier and that had led to them all reminiscing about past pranks. For you see, It was their last week at Hogwarts. Soon they would be leaving to go on and get jobs, start training, get married… Things like that. All of the seventh years were hanging around with each other and remembering their school lives while they still had the time. Exams were over and they had already had the Graduation Ceremony and Ball two days before. Now there were only two days left, and James still hadn’t done the two things that he had set out to do this year; one was to get Lily Evans to see that he was a good person and date him, she had done the first part, but they weren’t dating… yet… The second was to prove to the school that he could actually play the guitar and was not just a wanna-bee… He was hoping that tonight he could kill two birds with one stone.

James started to strum a tune on his faithful acoustic and the others stopped talking to listen to the soft music that emitted from James’ skillful hands. James continued to play as he spoke.

‘I’m going to prove it tonight.’ The others looked at him with curious faces. ‘I asked Dumbledore, and tonight I’m going to play some songs after dinner for the school.’ Sirius grinned widely at his mate.

‘Soo… we’re backing you, yeah?’ James stopped playing and smiled at the three around the room.

‘Of course… The Marauders have to go out in style…’ They all grinned at the thought of their send off.

Later that night, after dinner, Dumbledore stood and quiet fell over the hall.

‘Now students, tonight we have some entertainment from someone who wishes to prove what he has said for seven years. I give you Mr. James Potter and his band, The Marauders!’ People cheered, but looked shocked at the thought that James was actually going to try to play the Guitar. They were getting ready to cover their ears if necessary. Everybody watched as the four boys walked up to where a stage had appeared and prepared to perform for the school. The only problem was that James didn’t seem to have a guitar.

‘What, Potter,’ Shouted Severus Snape with a sneer. ‘Where’s you Guitar?’ James just shot a grin at him and flicked his wrist at the direction of the stage and a rectangular box with glass casing appeared. James then muttered a few spells under his breath before opening the case to reveal his prized Flying-V with custom Gryffindor design. He put the strap around his neck and plugged it into his amp. He then stepped up to the mike.

‘This is a song from the Australian band, AC/DC. Hope you all enjoy it… Sirius chose it.’ Everyone looked to where Sirius stood looking innocent with his hands positioned on his Bass.

James started to play while Peter used his Hi-Hat to start the beat. Sirius and Remus started to chant in time.

_Thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder._

 

James started to sing the lyrics;

 

_I was caught  
In the middle of a railroad track  
I looked round  
And I knew there was no turning back  
My mind raced  
And I thought what could I do  
And I knew  
There was no help, no help from you  
Sound of the drums  
Beating in my heart  
The thunder of guns  
Tore me apart  
You've been  
Thunderstruck ___

Rode down the highway  
Broke the limit, we hit the ton  
Went through to Texas, yeah Texas, and we had some fun  
We met some girls  
Some dancers who gave a good time  
Broke all the rules  
Played all the fools  
Yeah, yeah they, they, they blew our minds  
And I was shaking at the knees  
Could I come again please  
Yeah them ladies were too kind  
You've been  
Thunderstruck 

I was shaking at the knees  
Could I come again please  


 

James had a short guitar solo before the lyrics picked up again.

_Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck_  
It's alright, we're doin' fine  
It's alright, we're doin' fine, fine, fine  
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck  
Thunderstruck, baby, baby  
Thunderstruck, you've been Thunderstruck  
Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck  
You've been Thunderstruck

 

When the music stopped, every one started to applaud loudly for the four boys performance. James spoke again.

‘This is the only other song we’re doing tonight, dedicated to our very own Head Girl, Miss Lily Evans.’ Every one then looked to Lily who blushed furiously at the mention of her name. James smiled at her and she smiled back and once again the boys started to play their instruments.

_I got my first real six-string  
Bought it at the five-and-dime  
Played 'til my fingers bled  
It was summer of '69 ___

Me and some guys from school  
Had a Band and we tried real hard  
Jimmy quit and Jody got married  
I should’a known we'd never get far 

Oh when I lock back now  
That was seemed to last forever  
And if I had the choice  
Yeah - I'd always wanna be there  
Those were the best days of my life 

Ain't no use in complainin'  
When you got a job to do  
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in  
And that's when I met you 

Standin on your mama's porch  
You told me that you'd wait forever  
Oh and when you held my hand  
I knew that it was now or never  
Those were the best days of my life 

Back in Summer of '69 

Man we were killin' time  
We were young and restless  
We needed to unwind  
I guess nothin' can last forever, no 

And now the times are changin'  
Look at everything that's come and gone  
Somethimes when I play that old six-string  
I think about ya wonder what went wrong 

Standin' on your mama's porch  
You told me it would last forever  
Oh the way you held my hand  
I knew that it was now or never  
Those were the best days of my life 

_Back in summer of '69_

 

The great hall once more burst into applause.

‘Hey! James! Do wanna go out with me?’ James heard the words leave the lips of Lily Evans over all of the noise. James just nodded at her, and they both started to grin madly.


	8. Snow

  


8\. Snow

 

A/N:: It's yet the snow falls without the poem! 

 

The autumn was Lily Evans favourite season, she loved the way the trees shed their leaves and the red gold color of the foliage that covered the grounds of the school. She sat on the window seat in her own room in the heads dormitory, clad in only her green night-dress and a pair of embroidered green slippers, and was gazing outside with a dreamy look in her eyes. The forbidden forests’ trees were almost bare and she could see the leaves strewn upon the paths and the surface of the lake. She silently stood and moved to her dresser that was situated in the opposite corner of the room and got dressed for the day in a pair of black, skinny leg jeans and a light green shirt. Over the top she pulled on a light, black jumper and slipped her feet into a pair of trainers. She sighed and stared at her reflection.

Her long red hair fell down her back in messy curls and her sparkling green eyes were heavy with sleep. She pushed a long red strand out of her eyes and sighed once more. Today was a special day for Lily and already she was worried. A clock struck nine somewhere in the castle and she slipped out of her bedroom and crossed the common room to another door. She gently pushed it open and peered into the room inside it. Inside, it was almost identical to her own room with red and gold painted walls and a large four poster bed. Clothes were strewn everywhere on the floor and the bed was unmade. No one was inside and Lily knew that no one had been in this room for more than twenty four hours. Her eyes flashed with sadness and she closed the door with a soft click.

She arrived at the great hall a few minutes later and sat down at the Gryffindor table in between two boys. The one on her left had sandy brown hair and yellow-brown eyes, the one to her right had long, straight, black hair and steely grey eyes. Both of them were tall and lean with athletic builds though the brown haired boy was looking extremely pale and ill.

‘Morning Siri, Morning Remus.’ Lily said dully.

‘Morning’ they replied as they ate their breakfast. Lily did not eat; she just stared at her empty plate with a miserable look on her tired face. Suddenly she stood and Sirius and Remus turned to face her once more.

‘I’m going for a walk.’ They both nodded, faces showing no expression. She turned to leave the hall when a hand grasped her wrist. Lily looked around to see Remus staring at her with concern etched into his brow.

‘Lily, he’s fine. You know that, right?’ Lily pursed her lips and nodded slowly.

‘I just need to go for a walk.’

‘Take care of yourself.’ Lily’s eyes widened slightly, she had never heard Sirius speak with so much concern to her before. She nodded mutely again and walked out of the hall and into the cool autumn air.

Lily walked along one of the many gravel paths that lined the expansive grounds and just walked along with her hands jammed into her pockets. Her eyes focused on the ground in front of her and glazed over in thought. She passed the lake and paused under the shade of a large beach tree. She looked up from the path and across the large expanse of glittering green water. She could make out the separate leaves that floated past and once or twice she saw one of the Giant Squid’s tentacles lazily trailing past her. She sighed again. She seemed to be doing that a lot today. Lily looked over at the beach tree. It brought back so many memories of the past six and a bit years; some good, some not so good. She gazed fondly at a fallen log where she usually sat and smiled. Then looked down at the path again and trailed onwards, into the forbidden forest.

She had been here many times over the years, alone and with her friends. But most of all she came here to think and to be with one other person. Lily traveled along the path which was barely visible under the covering of autumn leaves. She kicked at them and watched as they floated out in front of her. At last she reached her final destination. The clearing was a small place; a small stream ran from one end to the other, disappearing on either side. The light of the autumn sun could be felt here and lit up the area even though the rest of the forest was in a permanent twilight. Lily thought that it was beautiful; she could feel the good vibrations coming from all around her and soaked them up. She looked out into the trees and watched the leaves as they were tossed in the wind.

Lily stood for hours in the same spot and looked desperately into the trees; she was waiting, waiting for him to come back to her but she never noticed the fact that the light was going. Nor the fact that she had started to shiver in the light breeze.

And she watched, fascinated, as the autumn leaves fell to the floor and marveled at the way that their colors shone in the rays of the dying sun. This was why she loved autumn. This was why she felt herself fascinated by the dying season. She loved that in death it made everything seem so beautiful. Lily remembered the last time that she had watched the leaves fall like this and she smiled. Lily smiled a smile that seemed to radiate with love, love that was so pure that it made the world seem even more beautiful with that one simple smile.

Lily stopped smiling and once again focused on the leaves, she knew that he would keep his promise; she knew he would never let her down. And she hoped that by watching the leaves fall he would know that she was waiting.

The sky had grown darker; the sun was almost under the horizon. All of the leaves had fallen now. Each one rested in its own place on the ground and Lily felt a pang of sadness in her heart. She looked back at the tree tops and saw something that gave her hope. One single leaf clung to the moving branches of the skeleton like trees; it seemed to be clinging on by a single thread, as if threatening to tear at any moment. As she gazed upon her beautiful leaf, her hope resting in it, the last gust of autumn breeze rustled along the path. And in an instant, it was gone; falling through the air in a series of twirls.

She could feel her heart braking now. She could feel it as a force grabbed at her chest and tore it through; like a flimsy piece of tissue paper in the hands of a child. Lily was broken and she didn’t think she could be mended. But she still watches as it falls slowly to the ground.

Just as it falls in front of her a new wind comes before her; so cold and so cruel. It chills her to the core and she feels her insides freeze. Lily felt empty. Like a part of her had been stolen. Like she was missing something important. Like she was no longer whole.

Lily stood in the deathly silence. She was alone here. She had nowhere to go from here but to the places that held memories that she wished forgotten now so that she didn’t have to bear the pain. She would give him more time. She knew that he would come back for her. He promised.

The sun had now truly set. Not even the slightest hint of what was once there remained. The chill of the night air was filling Lily’s body and she watched the ground as the sliver of moon filtered through the sky; making the shadows of the once friendly trees daunting.

Sadness filled her. He was not coming. She felt the tears come. She tried to hold them in, yet one slipped past her guard. She could feel it burning a long, hot, trail down her cheek but she left it to fall.

Lily no longer wished to look through the dark trees. They made her shiver; and not from the cold either. So Lily looked to the sky. It was grey tonight, a storm was sure to come. The heavy clouds hid away the usually bright stars but the moon had managed to show through, in between the cracks. She sighed once again at the night and put a hand to her face to wipe away the salty water trail.

She didn’t know how long she watched the clouds, just like the leaves, but Lily kept her focus. Suddenly she saw something. A single flake of powder white snow had fallen. Lily smiled at it and watched it as it fell from the sky and down towards the ground.

And soon, the snowflake landed squarely on the tip of her nose. Her nose had gone quit pink from her time out side and she shivered pleasantly at its touch. Lily let out a small laugh as she looked to the grey heavens above once more and saw that the sky was now filled with falling flakes. And she stood and watched the first snow of winter.

She saw each flake and as they reached her, Lily, started to dance. She flung her arms out and her head back and basked in the gloriousness of the pure flecks. She stuck her tounge out and caught a single speck on it and let it melt into pure water in her mouth. The deep black sky now filled with light.

Lily shivered in her light coat and could feel the water seeping through her shoes. She could feel the winter wind pulling at her hair and sending tingles through her spine.

the snow was still falling and Lily was still watching in wonder. Her whole body was coated wit a thin layer of white and it flecked through the curls of her bright red hair. Her green eyes were sparkling and alive. She felt like a child once more and longed to go and play in the snow like one.

The whole of Hogwarts was now white. A pure white that seemed to make every thing glow with white light. It seemed like heaven on earth. The lake was even starting to freeze over and the Giant Squid’s tentacles were waving in the air; catching what they could for fun.

As Lily stood, she could hear something moving towards her. There was a rustling in the leaves and the snap of broken twigs. Whoever it was was running quite fast and they seemed to be coming towards her. Lily felt her heart start to beat faster in her chest as she stared with hopeful eyes through the trees. She could see him now. He was tall with a lean body. His hair was an unruly jet black and his hazel eyes were filled with emotion; sadness, longing, hope and one emotion that stood out above the rest, love.

‘Lily!’ he called to her. Lily found herself speechless as she stared at him. He ran into the clearing and stopped when he saw her. They stood in silence for what seemed like hours. When the man suddenly took a few slow steps towards her and stopped when they were just inches apart. He gave her a slow smile but she did not respond. She just stood there and stared. He frowned slightly.

‘James…’ she whispered.

‘Hey Lil.’ He whispered back.

‘James...’ she whispered again. This time her eyes were flooding with tears that were threatening to break loose at any moment.

Lily threw her arms around him and started sobbing into his cloak. James slowly moved his arms around her and held her close, never wanting to let go. He whispered calming words into her ears and gently kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him and her crying stopped.

‘I thought you weren’t coming.’ She managed to choke out ‘I thought you were hurt.’

‘I’m not hurt. And why would I not come? I promised.’ She looked deep into his eyes and felt herself falling into his soul.

‘I love you James.’ she whispered.

‘Love you too Lil.’ Lily reached up and placed her hand gently onto his cheek. She stood on her tiptoes and closed the distance between their faces. And when their lips met, a slight shock coursed through their bodies, and they knew that they wanted to be together forever. The kiss was filled with Passion and Love; like they had put every single happy feeling into the one thing. When they broke apart Lily looked up at her Boyfriend. James was looking over her shoulder, into the forest.

‘The snow looks pretty tonight.’ He said. Lily turned around and James wrapped his arms around her slender form.

‘Mmm… It does.’ Yet another Flake of snow fell onto her nose and a pleasant shiver went down her spine.

‘Are you cold?’ James asked her in a concerned voice.

‘No, Just happy.’

‘Love you Lily.’ James sounded nervous now, he was shaking slightly and was a little bit stiff.

‘Love you too, James.’ he relaxed slightly when she said this; slightly, but not much.

‘Lily…’

‘Yes James…’ Lily was curious now. She turned around to face him and he removed his hands from her waist. He looked at the ground and nudged it with the toe of his shoe. ‘What is it James? You look nervous as hell!’ he grinned slightly at this statement. His gaze flicked from the ground to her eyes.

‘You know that I really love you Lil?’ she looked at him curiously.

‘Yes…’

‘And you know that I will always protect you, no matter what?’

‘Yes…’

‘You know that I would die for you.’ This was more a statement than a question.

‘Where are you going with this James?’ Lily was getting nervous now. James put his hand in his pocket and seemed to be fumbling with something. His gaze flicked around the clearing before resting on her again.

Lily,’ he pulled his hand out of pocket, with it came a small box. He knelt down on the ground and took her small hand in his. Lily’s eyes widened in surprise as she realized his intentions. ‘Marry me?’ he flicked open the box and revealed the ring that lay inside. It was two white gold bands that wound around each other delicately. Resting on them was a large Emerald surrounded on either side by two small diamonds. Lily stared at it for a while and James was getting even more nervous. ‘Lily?’

Lily looked up at him and he couldn’t read the expression in her eyes. He stood up, a little hurt, and closed the box.

‘It’s okay if you don’t want to.’ James felt like crying now, something that he had not done in years. Lily shook her head. ‘It’s okay then, just-just forget about it.’ He went to put the box back into his pocket. Lily grabbed his wrist and shook her head. She took the ring box off him and opened it closer to her face. She looked at it once more and James couldn’t stand the silence; he wanted to run away from that place and never come back. Lily looked back into his eyes once more and he saw that there were small tears forming in the corners. She gently removed the ring from where it nestled into the silk lining and gently slipped it onto her fourth finger. James realized what she was doing and smiled. Lily dropped the box where it fell into the snow at her feet. She threw her arms around his neck once again and kissed him fiercely.

‘Yes James,’ she said when they broke apart ‘Yes.’

Lily held onto James hand. Her little one fitting so well into his large one. She was happy now. She felt as though she needed nothing else in the world other than him. James was feeling the same way about her and the both of them were smiling blissfully. They were looking at the sky again, staring at the falling snow, wanting to stay there forever.

‘Love you James.’

‘Love you Lily.’

Lily and James knew that their future was uncertain in these times, but there was one thing that they knew for sure; no matter what happened, they would love each other forever, no matter what.


	9. Rejection

  


9\. Rejection

 

A/N:: Again, I'm using an already up One-Shot... but that's because it sorta fits with the whole jibe of the story...? yeah...? 

 

‘Potter, for the last time, I will never go out with you!’

‘Why?’ James asked desperately, his eyes never leaving Lily’s, both threatening to tear.

‘Why? Why!?!’ she half shrieked at him, a droplet of spit flung from her mouth and hit him on the cheek, causing him to flinch slightly. ‘I’ll tell you why. I hate you. Period. I hate you! I always have hated you!! I always will hate you!!! I think, that it is safe to say, that I despise you!’ Lily looked like she was about to continue, but, before another word could leave her mouth, James had turned around. She watched as he walked slowly away from her, shoulders sagged in defeat, and continued up the stairs to the boy’s dormitory. He was hurt.

James walked up the stair at a dead pace. His eyes had finally gotten what they wanted and tears were falling freely down his sad and grief-filled face. He felt so empty, his heart was gone and an empty, chilling, cold hole had taken its place. He entered the room at the top of the stairs which was, to his immense relief, empty of all fellow students. He continued with his slow pace to his still unmade bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, tears still falling.

She hated him.

_She_ hated him.

She hated _him_.

She _hated_ him

_She hated him_.

That single thought just made the tears fall faster. The slowly setting sun seeped through the gaps in the velvety curtains on the opposite side of the room. The weak streams of light caused the object on the table beside him glint with some kind of evil light. His head turned to it and, automatically it seemed, James lifted up the silver blade. Sirius’ knife. He gave it a blank look before glancing down at his cuff covered wrist, a sadistic smile flashing grimly across his tear stained face. That was what he needed, some way to release his mental pain in a physical manner. He slowly unbuttoned the cuff, the un-fallible knife resting on his slightly shaking knee. When that was done, he rolled up the crisp white sleeve of his shirt and picked up the knife. It was cold in his hands and the metal still danced evilly with the last rays of the setting sun. He pressed the metal lightly to the soft skin on his wrist and slowly drew a straight across its span. James removed the blade and watched as droplets of deep red blood oozed out of the shallow wound with it, he could feel some kind of sick and twisted pleasure. The pain that he had caused himself was taking away that, which Lily had inflicted upon him.

_Lily._

He slashed again, this time the wound was deeper and cut faster, with more pressure. The blood came quicker this time and the warm substance trickled down his arm and onto his clothing. James gasped slightly with pain, but he silently continued his spree, cuts soon littering from the first and shallowest at his wrist, to the last and deepest which rested below the inside of his elbow. James stared at his scarred arm, he was starting to feel faint from the blood loss. He placed the bloody knife on the table once again, his now unseeing eyes staying on the bloody, flesh bearing, red raw arm. It was at that moment that Sirius chose to enter the Dormitory.

‘Prongs…’ he spotted James starring at his bloodied wrist and stood in the doorway, frozen, as he watched a stream of ruby red blood drip from the numerous wounds and onto the floor. ‘James…’ James looked up and straight into Sirius’ grey eyes. They stared at each other for moments, neither blinking, before James suddenly winced in pain, his face draining of all remaining colour and Sirius watched in horror as his best friend keeled over forward and, as if in slow motion, fell face forward onto the hardwood floor. Sirius rushed forward and turned him over onto his back. ‘James!? Shit! James, what did you do!?! What the fuck did you do!?! Fuck James… Wake up!’ his attempts to rouse James had already failed as the young man on the floor had already slipped into unconsciousness. All the James could see was the redness that had been etched into his memory.

The blood.

His blood.

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Help! Help! Please, Somebody, help! Oh god…!

Mr. Black, what-?

Professor, James, he, he… oh Merlin… the blood!

Mr. Black, please calm down! Is that… blood on your shirt?

James… James’ blood…!

Mr. Black! Where. Is. Mr. Potter?

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Poppy! Poppy!... Now please!

What in the world Minerva…? Is that…?

Potter.

Gasp What happened? Who did it?

He did.

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Why James sob why did you do it?

Miss Evans! Please restrain yourself, Mr. Potter will be fine!

I can’t! it’s my fault!... all…my…fault…sob

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James felt his eyes flutter open and in his state of blindness, managed to make out that he was in a white room. And that it was most likely night. He reached out with his right hand and fumbled around in the dark until his hand met the wood of the nightstand and his long fingers brushed against the cool metal frames of his glasses. He went to pull them onto his face, but when he tried to lift his left hand a stabbing pain shot through it. Memories came flooding back into his mind and he slowly placed his glasses onto his face single-handedly. The first thing he did after that was look down at his arm. It was wrapped up securely in white bandages but thought them he could see the remains of dried blood.

I… I did this… I did… oh god!?!... how could I be so stu-

His train of thoughts stopped as he spotted something that was out of place on the meticulously clean, white hospital wing bed covers. Something red and shiny. At first James thought that the bandages had leaked, but the red was on the wrong side for that. He moved his right hand and gently prodded the stream of red, feeling the silkiness that it consisted of; so soft against the rough skin of his fingers. He continued to stroke it, getting lost in the feeling.

A movement, small and unobtrusive, but a movement none the less caught his eye. He drew back his one unscarred hand and waited in silence, watching as the red stream lifted, with it coming the head of its owner who had fallen asleep lying face first on the starch white sheets. James watched as two small and pale hands reached up and pushed masses of silky red hair behind two ears. It was then that james found his eyes meeting with those that seemed to glow with emerald light.

‘Lily…’ his voice came out scratchy and coarse, his throat sore from disuse. He watched as her eyes filled brightly with tears. A single pearly drop fell from one eye and began to create a trail down her pale face. James lifted his hand once more and brushed the tear off with one finger.

‘James.’ Lily’s voice came out of her mouth in a kind of choked-up squeak. The two continued to stare into each others eyes for a few moments before Lily surprised James by literally throwing herself on top of him and squeezing his well built body to her own small frame as hard as she could. ‘Never… Never do that… ag-… again!’ she admonished him before pulling back and looking him dead in the face.

‘I’m sor-sorry Lily.’ James stuttered out.

‘Don’t be.’ Her eyes flooding again. ‘Don’t be. I should be sorry! It’s all my fault… I am so sorry James.’ James shook his head and gave her a tiny, true smile.

‘All forgiven. How could I stay mad at you ever?’

‘Easy.’

‘No. Not easy, Lily… I love you too much to be mad…’ there was a pregnant pause after that statement.

‘I… I… I L-l-love you too… James.’ Lily whispered and James’ smile grew in size as he studied her mascara stained face. They both moved in at the same time, their awkward movements causing their noses to bump. Lily giggled slightly and James’ smile became even bigger and more radiant. Lily cupped his chin in small her hands before leaning in an kissing him softly but firmly upon his lips.

‘Never again…’ mumbled James against her lips, as he repeated her earlier statement.

‘Never again.’ She replied softly before settling her head against his strong, pajama clad chest. James moved his head slightly and kissed the crown of her head gently before wrapping his good arm around her. He fell asleep breathing in the sweet smell of her silken hair as she dreamed, the murmuring beat of his heart penetrating into her mind in its rest.


End file.
